Happy Birthday, Brother


Happy 23rd birthday, Jake.

I miss you and love you every single day. I feel your absence in the world more and more as the weight of the real world becomes heavier, as love and relationships and would-be, could-be, should-be friends walk out the door.

I’m laughing at our inside jokes, our old games, the late-night talks and the moments that required no words. Dreams, girls, MetallicA, families, victories and losses. . .

I can’t decide which is worse…celebrating your birthday alone, no party, no cake…or a month from now when the ‘other’ anniversary comes around. I make the same promises this year as in all of the others, however many times I break them all:

* I won’t break down on Feb. 6, remember those four days in the hospital, watching the tears roll down from eyes that I’d never see open again.

* I’ll be the person I promised I’d be after you died. The kind of person you were. It makes sense that you’re gone…you were better than what this world gave you.

* * * * *

From ‘My Hero’ – Foo Fighters

Too alarming now to talk about
Take your pictures down and shake it out
Truth or consequence, say it aloud
Use that evidence, race it around

There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He’s ordinary

Don’t the best of them bleed it out
While the rest of them peter out
Truth or consequence, say it aloud
Use that evidence, race it around

There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He’s ordinary

Kudos my hero leaving all the best
You know my hero, the one that’s on

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